sally

last friday, emaline came home from preschool with her very own fish.  she was so excited, to show me the silver fishy that she had picked out and caught with her fish net.  she was careful not to shake it and was so excited to show her big sis ava when she got home from school.

that monday we decided that emaline's fish, sally, could use a friend, so as a family, we went and picked out a fish for ava to have as well.  i made sure the girls knew that their fish might not live for long and prepped them so they wouldn't get too attached.  the girls loved checking in on sally and rosie goldie each morning and evening, watching them swim about, in and out of the fake plant and cave in their small aquarium.

sure enough, thursday morning, the girls came running in our room, exclaiming that there was something wrong with sally's tail and that she was "swimming" on the top of the water.
"oh no.", i said quietly, and immediately emaline started crying.  we all went into their room to see poor sally, bobbing horizontally atop the water.  and my poor emaline, in tears, crying for her fishy.  i held her and told her i was so sorry, reminded her of my previous warning and tried to comfort her.

"emaline, do you want to bury your fish, or should we go ahead and flush it?" i asked.

wiping her tears away, she looked at me with her big bright eyes, beaming with a better idea.

"let's cook it up and eat it!" she exclaimed.

we went ahead and just buried it instead.

emaline and her dead fishy.

as you can see from the pic, she's going to be just fine.

* right after we buried sally, i went in to feed rosie goldie to find her floating atop the water, dead as can be.
they didn't even make it a week.

time machine

i love being a mom.

i love being at home with my girls.

i love running errands with them.

i love soaking up the day with them.

i love wasting away the day with them.

i tell my husband at least once weekly, that i was born to be a mom.

don't get me wrong. i have my moments. embarrassing moments when i snap at them. when i feel like a frazzled woman pulling her hair out. when i feel like i have no idea what i'm doing. times when i force them outside because if i hear one more whine, or cry, or bicker, i.will.lose.it.

but i also know that one day, i will genuinely miss it. i know myself well enough to know that i will regret not embracing it all. the good and the bad. call me crazy, but i know i will.

i'm not perfect. i know i will never be, and that is okay.

but the most important thing i've learned (and am constantly re-learning) is how perfect those imperfect moments can be.

the other day at lunch after adele had thrown half of her food on the ground and cried, yelled and screamed for me to take her out of her chair (something she does daily, mind you), i gave up and finally did what she wanted, knowing full well that she had not eaten nearly enough. i was so bugged at the mess she had unnecessarily made for me. a few minutes later i heard the girls giggling and asking if they could share their crackers with her. i turned around to see two chubby legs, under the table. she was begging her sisters for some scraps of food.

i grabbed my trusty time machine and trapped this moment. this perfect moment of mine, this treasured moment of mine. this moment which represents so many of our days at home together, days that i will one day miss... crumbs on the floor and all.

january happenings

the month january has been a busy one.

but it was one of those wonderfully busy kind of months.

excuse me while i play some catch up...

we rang in the new year at our house with a few friends and their kids. we sat around a fire while the kids enjoyed a movie outside and just relaxed, laughed and enjoyed the nice weather, fireworks, food and company. it was just the right way to start out the new year, and hopefully a precursor to the rest of 2012.

in the middle of the month, we gained a new family member by means of a marriage.

i love the energy that surrounds weddings. love is in the air and certainly contagious.

it was a beautiful day and wedding and i could not have been more happy for my sweet brother (in-law) and his new bride. their story is such a sweet one and i can't help but feel like they were meant for each other.

on facebook i posted:

a little over 2 years ago, i asked sarah to go on a date with my brother in law when he came home from his mission a year and a half later. she wrote him, and he her 211 times over the next 18 months, and when he returned, he took her on a date, and then another, and another.... today, they were married. welcome to the family, sarah, you've felt like family since day one.

and she really has.

one of my most favorite things about weddings is family togetherness and unity. i had a wonderful time with bryce's family, spending time and working together with wedding preparations and activities. admittedly, i was a little down once it was all over. but i didn't really have time to be down for long because the very next day, my ava babe turned 6.

i wanted her to feel special and avoid her birthday being overshadowed by the wedding happenings preceding her birthday. especially since she had been talking about her birthday for the past 364 days. we had a small family party with my side of the family on her actual birthday.

that in itself was enough for her to feel special. she loves being with her family, and her simple cake and presents met her six year old expectations perfectly... see?

her big gift from us was a purple hello kitty cruiser, complete with a basket, bell and no training wheels in sight.

we have to be the worst parents in the world because two weeks later, we still haven't had a chance to take her out and teach her how to ride it! i love that face of hers in this picture.

the day after her birthday we let her choose 3 friends to take with her to the movies and lunch. she had the hardest time narrowing down to just 3 friends... she kept switching back and forth between friends, i finally had to intervene and allow 1 school friend, 1 church friend and 1 old neighborhood friend. even that was hard for her, but she finally decided. she had the best time with these girls.

but our fun month was still not over! we had yet one more thing we were planning on squeezing in, our annual family trip to disneyland.

i will spare you all the details interesting to me and boring to you, but i will say that we had the best time. the weather was perfect, hardly crowded and lots of fun.

we spent two days between both parks and managed to squeeze in so much, partly because we opted to leave adele at home with my parents. part of me felt bad for leaving her out, and the other part was happy to have a little time to give all my attention to ava and emaline, who, for the past year, have had to take the backseat for a bit while newborn delly joined our family. what made this easy was knowing that adele would be well taken care of and given lots of love and attention from her grandparents. besides, she already went to disneyland last year and wasn't that impressed.

needless to say, the girls had a great time.

and so did we.

and adele? well, she had a good time too, but certainly let me know how mad she was at me for leaving her out as soon as we got home, she wouldn't let me go but cried furiously at me for a good five minutes.

tomorrow is february 1st and i have not one bit of plans... a perfect start to a new month, if you ask me. we could definitely use some down time.

christmas 2011

our traditional christmas nativity with bryce's side of the family.

this year emaline was a wiseman and ava was an angel.

the nativity is always all over the place, especially with the kids acting out the parts but it's what i love most about it and find so endearing. the best part of this year's nativity was the family singing silent night and sounding like a beautiful chorus. that, and the children raising the baby jesus up lion king style at the end of the christmas story.

. . . . . .

christmas morning, we were up before our girls were. ava came in 15 minutes later, while emaline continued to snooze on. we let her sleep an extra 10 minutes and then went in and woke her up. we let adele keep sleeping though, no one likes a grumpy christmas baby.

i can't even imagine christmas without my sweet little family, i love being with them and seeing the joy and excitement on their faces. and emaline especially was hamming it up... it was perfect.

i loved the pictures that ava had drawn and wrapped weeks previously all on her own for each one of us.

but mostly, i loved the gift she picked out all on her own with daddy specifically for me. a brand new can opener. i seriously teared up when i opened it... sure it wasn't something expensive or elaborate but it was something that i had casually mentioned to myself while i was in the kitchen one day which she remembered and wanted to get me.

she heard me.

i can't think of a better gift she could've gotten me.

it was a great christmas.

i hope yours was, too.

rocking horse

"emaline... what do you want for christmas?" i asked one morning before christmas.

"a rocking horse." she answered without hesitation.

i didn't even know she knew what a rocking horse was, that there was even such a toy.

knowing that rocking horses aren't around as much as they once were back in the day, i wondered if there was maybe something else that she might want, something a little easier for santa to attain.

"what else do you want for christmas?"

"that's it," she replied "just a rocking horse."

from that point, i knew she needed one, and crossed my fingers hoping that santa and his elves might be able to come through for her.

and somehow they did... it was a small christmas miracle how santa came across a rocking horse, especially with only a few days left until christmas. not only did he find a rocking horse in that little workshop of his, but he managed to find time to paint it and add a new mane and tail to it!

it will be one of my favorite memories for years to come; emaline running out christmas morning, and upon seeing it, exclaiming, "my rocking horse!"

merry christmas baby,

you've been so good all year.

a special thanks to one of santa's helpers.

you know who you are, thank you.

all is calm, all is bright

it's been a good christmas season.

sure we've had our hiccups like in years past, but nothing that compares to those years. like the year that bryce had to work until almost 8pm on christmas eve. that one was a doozy. bryce and i have been reflecting on those rough times and giving thanks that we made it through those bumps and made the best of our christmases together. and it almost brings tears to our eyes remembering the year when bryce's company that he works for got bought out in december and turned his already long days into 17 hour work days the weeks preceding christmas, not to mention revoking their expected week paid holiday vacation and barely giving them christmas eve off. it was a very difficult christmas for us, not to mention lonely.

and then there was last year... we were so grateful to be able to have a sweet newborn baby in our presence during that season and wanted more than anything to soak her and the season in. but instead we were struggling to make ends meet after bryce's work had cut his pay completely in half while still trying to provide a good christmas for our girls. and as if that wasn't enough, the week leading up to christmas was spent with bryce and i completely wiped out with the flu. we spent christmas eve and the days preceding with both of us shivering under blankets with high fevers from the flu. i used any energy i had left to tend to my newborn baby and only got out of bed to feed and change her. our girls ran amuck in our house, made messes everywhere and neither bryce nor i could do anything.... we were that sick. but somehow by christmas morning, we had mustered up the energy to wrap all the presents and get the house in order... somehow, together, we did.

we have stuck together through everything. when all around us seemed to crumble, when everything seemed to be against us we held tight and got through it together, and found the blessings and tender mercies that were sent to us from above.

my heart is so full this christmas season.

sure it's a little easier since we're not struck down with the flu or feeling like a single mom, or dealing with long work days but we still have our struggles here and there with other trials and mishaps, but i can't help but recognize the calm and peace we have felt this year. making it through those rough patches has increased my gratitude of the many blessings we do have in our lives... gratitude that i might not have experienced had i not felt the lows in our lives. those struggles have made us who we are and more importantly strengthened us. we've been through much and we made it... made the best of it. and while things are not necessarily perfect this year, it feels like they are, because i am with my family and get to spend this beautiful holiday with those whom i love most... and for that i am so lucky and so grateful.

merry christmas friends.

santa

i can't believe we're almost half-way through december!

we've been busy soaking in the great weather and the sounds, sights, and smells of the season. i am just loving this christmas season.

last week we took the girls to go see santa. we've been going to the same place for 3 years now and have loved the atmosphere, short lines and free picture that comes with it. apparently, our favorite place has turned into everyone else's favorite place too, 'cause when we showed up they were no longer allowing people in line due to the amount of people already there. as the mean worker in his ugly elf hat turned us away, i couldn't help but think about what an awful ride home it would be when our kids found out that our travels out this way would not result in a visit with santa. just as i was imagining the tears, i saw a glimmer of hope... a friend, already standing in line, inviting us to join them in line! it felt like a christmas miracle! (okay, maybe not that dramatic, but they certainly saved christmas for us that day.) our kids, along with theirs enjoyed the christmas activities surrounding santa's workshop while my friend brooke and i caught up between adele's food begging and screams.

(i hope santa didn't hear them... oh wait, he did.)

while adele screamed in horror, emaline got to give him a coloring she did to put on his fridge back home at the north pole, and ava got a chance to tell him about the lalaloopsy dolls she wants for christmas.

what almost was a fiasco, turned into a nice visit with santa after all...

but most importantly, everybody was wearing the appropriate underpants.

one!

this little girl turned one year old this past weekend.

it's hard to believe that it's already been a year since our fiasco filled week took place as she made her entrance into the world.

(whew... bryce and i were reflecting back on that week the past few days and are so grateful that our lives have settled down quite a bit since then.)

ava came running into my room saturday morning reminding me that it was adele's birthday and asking if she could go sing happy birthday to her. i told her she had to wait until adele woke up before she could sing to her. she then said that she just couldn't wait to see what adele looked like now that she was one.

oh ava, you are the best.

when she finally did see her, she told me that adele's head looked bigger but her face looked the same as when she was zero... i'm going to miss hearing the girls tell everyone that "their baby" is zero.

we had a family party for her on saturday afternoon. the weather was perfect and fun was had by all. bryce grilled up some delicious burgers and dogs while everyone visited and the children ran amuck in their tiny party hats.

grandpa being silly as always.

how cute is my bro-in-law's fiancé? we just love her.

first birthdays always make me want to celebrate the fact that we did it; my baby and i made it out of the first year alive.

hooray!

i'm sad this picture is so blurry... she was super excited after finishing her cake and was moving in such excitement that in that low of lighting i never could capture it clearly.

we played pin the binky on adele, and we even got the "older" guests involved.

i made a giant cupcake cake and some regular cupcakes as well.

adele loved being sung to and when bryce started handing her a cupcake she started squirming, squealing, practically jumping out of her seat to reach for it. it was the funniest sight and i wish more than anything that we got it on video. needless to say, she was in sugar heaven when she finally got to sink her {2} teeth into it.

the party ended with the chaotic unwrapping of the presents which was just too much for adele, i have no idea who gave her what. as i was shopping for her birthday this year, i walked past some dolls that moved and made baby sounds. adele went nuts for this one doll and i just couldn't pass it up, and while i thought the doll was overpriced, her excitement was priceless. she loves this little baby of hers, i think they just get each other.

it was a sweet little party for my sweet little {one year old} baby.

we love you adele!

you are growing so fast.

peter pan clan

how was your halloween?

ours was an adventure.

left to right: tinkerbell, smee, tiger lily

peter pan and captain hook

as i've mentioned before, i always love to go with a theme for our costumes. with the exception of our first halloween together, bryce and i have always had some sort of couple costume. but as our kids (ava) get older, they (ava) are starting to make things more difficult. ava suggested a few great ideas, which i was totally onboard with, but then she would change her mind... she just couldn't decide on just one costume and it was seriously stressing her out. it didn't seem enjoyable at all. i love halloween and i hated seeing my daughter so upset over such a little thing, so i talked it over with her and tried to help her make a decision. at first mention, emaline was set on being captain hook. and i wasn't about to dress emaline up as a mean pirate while ava got to be pretty wendy or tinkerbell, so i suggested peter pan. she wasn't too keen on the idea, until i explained to her that i would make her costume and add some girly glittery accents to it.... then she was finally onboard! so i got to work...

with the help of bryce, i cut and sewed peter's outfit out of fleece, then added a collar, fringe at the bottom and a belt all made from glittery tulle. i added braided twine and a dagger to her belt, spray painted her hat, and added a feather. the green tights were a task all on their own... i thought i'd be able to find them easy, but couldn't find the right color, (or any shade of green) anywhere and ended up having to dye them in two different colors to get just the right color. but when all was said and done, ava was pleased with the outcome, in fact, she was thrilled and absolutely excited! all that work was certainly worth it!

we already had a pirate dress costume in our dress up box, which resembled captain hook's ensemble, so all i had to take care of for emaline was her hat, shoes, hook and sword. easy peasy, just like emaline. her favorite part of the costume was either her curly hair (which was much curlier on the night of halloween), or her hook which she kept dragging across our throats in the most gentle yet brutal motion ever.

we also had a tinkerbell costume on hand, which was actually sized for a 4 year old, so i tied the straps and pinned together the back and it was a perfect fit for baby. i bought some fairy shoes from the dollar store, cut and sewed them to baby size then added a white puff ball to each shoe and her costume was done.

my tiger lily costume was made from a (really ugly) thrift store dress... i had to remove some appliques and ribbing, then added some ribbon and cut a slanted fringe on the bottom and my dress was done. i bought a witch's wig, and braided it into two, then made a headband with two feathers to fit over my wig. the wig ended up looking better than i thought it would and was asked multiple times if they were extensions. hah! it was obviously a pretty dark night.

and then there was smee...

somehow every year, bryce's costume is the one that gives us the most trouble. i searched for weeks for a blue and white striped shirt... i thought for sure it would be easy to find, but after multiple stores and weeks of searching i realized that we would have to figure something else out. so i bought a blue shirt from the thrift store, and planned to spray paint white stripes onto it. i will save you the trouble of finding out on your own that spray painting large areas on fabric, such as these stripes, does not work. i blew through an entire can of paint and didn't even come close to making a decent looking stripe. i then purchased some fabric spray paint, which was the biggest joke and waste of money. ultimately, we (bryce) ended up just painting the shirt with plain old acrylic paint. of course the cheapest and easiest idea was the one that ended up working, it also happened to be bryce's first suggestion. we had to rush to finish it so it was no where near perfect, but for a halloween costume it came out just right. i sewed a red t-shirt into a stocking cap, shoved some white cotton into the sides added some spectacles and smee was finally complete. but my favorite part of his costume and probably all of halloween was his booty. i laughed every time i saw it. and yes, he stuffed his shirt as well, just in case you were thinking that he was starting to let himself go in recent months.

so there you have it... our partially homemade, slightly ghetto, peter pan costumes.

now what were YOU for halloween?

go, delly, go!

she finally crawled.

it was about time, too. we were starting to wonder about her. she was our latest crawler, her sisters had her beat by about 4 months.

don't get me wrong, it was a sort of blessing not having to chase her all over the house, but at 10 1/2 months old, sitting around while everyone around you moves about only gets you frustrated and bored, which is all she had been for a while. it was more work trying to keep her entertained in one spot and usually ended with us carrying her around with us where ever we'd go.

i sat her down last wednesday as usual in front of a few toys, looked away for a second and in the corner of my eye i saw her get right up on her knees and start crawling, as if she'd been doing it all along. babies are funny.

this morning, after breakfast i put her down by some toys, which she completely ignored and headed straight for the back door, and before i knew it she was trying to squeeze herself through the gap to escape.

she just started crawling and she already has one foot out the door...

kids, i tell ya... they sure grow up fast.

p.s. where the heck did september go? whoo-ee!